Many famous Americans attended the memorial service after the death of the former First Lady Barbara Bush. The current president, Donald Trump, instead played golf in Florida and said he would not attend the ceremony out of respect for the Bush family. We invited him to a fictional interview to ask him how he meant it…
SATIRE BRUTALLY SERVED: Mr. Trump, you do notseem particularly fond of funerals?
DONALD TRUMP: I have nothing against funerals, I would even dance at Obama’s funeral.
SBS: But you did notwant to go to Barbara Bush’s funeral, golfing was more important to you?
DT: No, I have refrained from appearing there out of pure consideration for the feelings of the Bush family.
SBS: Because their guests would have run away at the sight of you? That would mean that you were considerate for the first time in your life, it ishard to believe. Can you please define the word “consideration” for our readers?
DT: So, consideration is, if I know exactlythat no one at the memorial service likes me, I only get cut by everyone, andI, therefore, prefer to stay away out of pure consideration. Besides, I sent Melania there, so I managed to kill two birds with one stone.
DT: Melania can somewhat behave and is still called Trump, this has never existed before.
SBS: So, you admit yourself, your personalpresence would certainlyhave produced a lot offainting again? You always walk into every sandtrap.Andif there isn’t one, do you put them down yourself?
DT: These are meanprejudices that Obama has been spreading about me for years.
SBS: But you personally confirm these meanprejudices reliably every day. In reality, nobody wants you at their memorial service because 99 percent of the guests would have fled after your first ambiguous sentence. And this embarrassment usually happens after ten seconds at the latest…
DT: But if I am so terribly disliked, it was really nice of me to send Melania!
SBS: You’re right. Especially since you, as the president,would have had to give a speech at the memorial service. After that, all dignity would have gone to the devil for good.
DT: You see? I’m not as bad as everyone says. So let’s keep in mind: I sent Melania to the funeral so that people there have more fun…
SBS: Mr.President, thank you for this insightful interview!
Donald: “Melania! Remember that you go there as a representative of the President of the United States! So, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Melania: “Okay, I’ll pee standing up!”
Photo: Boss Tweed via Wikimedia Commons