From benching and ghosting, or why love isn’t really that complicated

A large circle of friends is extremely important to anyone who wants to partake in life. With that, you will learn all news essential to your love life, for example, that Kevin „ghosted” Lina. „Ghosting” means that you end a relationship by simply not getting in touch anymore, and no longer being reachable to your partner as if you vanished into thin air. The most famous „ghoster” is Rüdiger the night bus driver, who is surely known by some of our loyal readers.

Girls sometimes think that „ghosting” comes in handy, but often tend to use a ploy that is more useful to them: the benching. For example, Julia‘s newly enamored colleague Frankie from the neighboring department will be “kept on the back burner” despite the current relationship with Roger. The woman plans dates with the colleague every now and then but, unfortunately, something else usually comes up in the evening and dates either take place during lunch breaks or not at all.

Benching is important to Julia because Roger likes to invite his friends to watch soccer. They usually bring a few cases of beer, and the toilet regularly „looks like shit” afterward. Now Roger suddenly has to do a lot of overtime until Julia has polished up the loo again.

Frankie, the backup plan, however, puts Julia in the comfortable position to greet Roger in the evening with the ominous words „we have to talk”. You see, benching enormously boosts the female self-confidence. Regular sex is very important to Roger, but unfortunately, he has no replacement. Therefore, he must scrub the toilet twice a week from now on.

Julia doesn’t celebrate her victory with Frankie, but with her girlfriends. Her backup plan gets an almost frivolous kiss in the broom closet the next morning, which probably keeps him in line for the rest of the year.

Rogers second job as a toilet refiner doesn’t really have a positive impact on his standing with his buddies. Especially not if he suddenly insists that everyone pees sitting down during the beery international game. So Roger has to decide between his friends and Julia. To escape the loneliness, he ghosts Julia by moving to Rüdiger. As you know, he uses his toilet to quickly and easily get rid of the girls he just banged. His place is perfect for soccer fans, and Roger sometimes gets one of Rüdiger’s female „best friends”.

However, Julia isn’t devoting herself to Frankie anyways. Anyone who can be held out for that long might not be the first choice as a partner. So she throws herself onto Werner, her boss – and keeps Frankie in a good mood with almost frivolous kisses. By the way, Werner is benching his secretary Nicole, the relationship between him and Julia is optimally balanced, comparable to the relationship between the USA and UdSSR in earlier times.

We strongly recommend that Frankie and Nicole promptly ghost Julia and Werner…

Nicole and Frankie actually did it. They are enjoying a harmonious relationship after ghosting their benchers. The two of them aren’t used to sex, but they are totally crazy about the almost frivolous kisses…

Rüdiger, the night bus driver, never takes home women. Only exception: The foursome requires him to have a place all to himself and a huge bed! The ladies‘ man waits until the girls are sleeping and then goes to work. As soon as one of them has to use the bathroom, the obligatory nervous breakdown will ensure that the girls are leaving in a hurry.