IG Nobel Prize:
Why farmers are so jealous of dogs

29A Czech/German Research Group well-deservedly received the IG Nobel Prize for their outstanding research on dogs, who do their business.

Because if the person goes for a walk in a rural area during his free time after work or on the weekend, he will discover three similar substances in addition to the popular grass and a few flowers when passing fields used for dairy farming. Namely the intestinal contents of domestic cattle, domestic dogs, and farmers.

The domestic cattle used for dairy farming cannot cater for the spreading of their excrements on their own. If the gut is full, the feces fall out the back, it flushed away with water hoses and collected in the slurry pit. Domestic cattle only have little opportunity to leave the barn, and with a typical farm operation, it never really reaches the field anyways.

The farmer ensures with meticulousness and exemplary care that the crap still gets there reliably and without any losses. In order for the field to smell evenly delicious, the brave man spreads the intermittently whisked shit meticulously and evenly.

But the farmer himself has intestines too. And if the contents of this useful organ seek freedom at some point during the day, the industrious man certainly has no time to swing on the mighty tractor to go to the homestead to use his practical toilet. No, he only squats down and lets nature run its course. The poop of the farmer is generally neatly decorated with paper tissues for it to stand out from the despicable cow shit.

So much as a preface for a better understanding of the study of our Czech-German scientists. They have now dealt with the third species of dung that occurs on fields: the dog shit. Specifically, how it gets on the fields. In contrast to the famous cattle and farmer excrements, the dog poop pile is unfortunately quite frowned upon.

That is why our scientists wanted to find out why that is, especially since the dog piles do not smell any worse than the other two species of dung mentioned above, nor do they have an uglier appearance, and it is scientifically proven that they do not cause any epidemic diseases. And the inclined reader will hardly believe it: The rejection of the dog poop is indeed because of the rotten envy of the competition.

The domestic dog is not infrequently oriented on the habits of the wolf, his close relative in the animal kingdom. And that is why the domestic dog does not just let the poop fall out of his ass like cattle, and he also does not just squat down to let it drop like the farmer. No, the domestic dog, as a highly-developed creature, carefully aligns himself with the magnetic field of the earth before he poops.

And since the superiority of the dog shit is scientifically proven, the dog owner has the right to decorate the winner’s pile with a flag after the successful business of his four-legged friend …

Look at how well the domestic dog is aligned to the earth’s magnetic field

If the dog owner does not have a flag at hand – he can also gild the winner’s pile